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Jack Denies He Is A Polygamist
Dog citizen demands his honor restored
May 30, 2008

A recent guest editorial in the local weekly paper made an impassioned case for a leash law in Oriental. Among the more unique accusations aimed at Oriental’s dog citizens were that unleashed dogs were “polygamists and streetwalkers”.

Oriental dog citizen Jack was disturbed by this, so much so that he called a news conference Friday morning to deny any polygamist leanings.

Surrounded by his supporters, Jack denied that he is a polygamist
Jack is often seen in the company of several attractive admirers. However, he feels his popularity with the ladies should not lead to the accusation of “polygamist”.

Jack, from a prepared statement:

“I would like to thank my supporters for gathering around me during this time of personal anguish. I’ll admit I may be a popular man, but I categorically deny any polygamist leanings. Further, several years ago Doc Sherrie performed an operation on me (I think they told me I was “tutored”) that makes it difficult for me to truly pursue a polygamist lifestyle.”
Jack points out he bears little physical resemblance to other well known polygamists

Editor’s note: While we are having some fun about the odd use of “polygamists and streetwalkers” in a pro leash law editorial, there really is a proposed leash law. Those of you who wish to comment to Town Hall should do so. Please write to:

Town of Oriental
PO Box 472
Oriental, NC 28571

Or email townhall@townoforiental.com

Related Links:

One claim of leash law proponents is that the existing law does not cover dangerous animals. Decide for yourself:
Oriental’s Existing Ordinance On Animals

Dogs speak out during the 2005 attempt at a leash law

Posted Friday May 30, 2008 by Keith N. Smith

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