December Results! This month Santa and the TownDock.net creative writing department asked:
What's your Caption for this Pamlico County picture?

Here at TownDock, we appreciate the sentiment that it should be Christmas every day. And in Bayboro, it is. A house used to stand at this site on Highway 304, just down from Highway 55, Nothing remains but the chimney.. where this Santa is perched year-round. He’s a little sun worn, maybe even a little world weary (all of that deciding who’s naughty or nice can take a psychological toll).

That’s why we thought this Santa needed your gifts this season… be it a one-liner, a rhyme, limerick or haiku .. whatever you thought was a fitting caption for Santa Among The Ruins. And you came through. All those entries made it feel like Christmas morning here at the TownDock.net Captions mailbag…
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We had said we’d give extra credit if you worked in the Seinfeldian word, "Festivus". Response was such that we decided to create a special category for the Frank Costanza crowd. We’ll get to the Festivus Division winners in a moment.

In our Christmas Standard Division, two poems stood out and for the sheer lyricism, we had to make it a tie between them.

ho ho ho and be of good cheer
but falling bricks echo
no cookies found here
Joy Laliberte

I was guided here by the lighthouse, you see
To sit here on top of this old chimney
For up here I can keep a good eye on this town

Some people ride by and wave
And think it's so sweet that I stay
But the truth is I really don't know how to get down
Jon and Merri Minnich

In the Christmas Standard, Non-Poetry Class, the judges honors go to:

DAMN! Looks like the Grinch beat me to it, again............
Gordon Pickett, Raleigh and Oriental

We had lots of Sleigh Runners-Up.
Two of them focused on the practical…

"And just where do they think I'm going to park the sleigh tonight?"
Cal " Not A Navy Seal" Bridgers

"Santa, Just where did you park your sleigh?!!!!!"
Traywick Duffie (age 8)

Bob Baskervill imagined a St. Nick who liked to keep his skills sharp:
Santa caught training on the second-story of a vacant lot. (Note scale model of light house for coastal deliveries)

Some entries took a cue from NASA

X days until Christmas liftoff and counting...
George Wisneskey
Oriental/OBX

I warned Donner and Blitzen about installing that new rocket booster on the sleigh!
Joy LaLiberte

If these were Christmas Carols, some of our entries would have an " I Told You so" refrain.

"I told those dang reindeer to stay off the roof!"
Catherine Baxley

Dern! Mrs. Claus tole me not to eat all those beans.
Karen Meyer

It’s beginning to look a lot like .. Courtroom Forensics??

'Santa visits crime scene submitted in evidence at arson's Naughty vs. Nice trial. Jurors were cautioned not to be swayed by implications of intact chimney.'
Cheryl Huff ,Rambunctious Farm

Elsewhere, we heard some new turns of phrase

Looks like Santa brought the house down!
Don Southwick, Beach Haven , NJ

"Home is where the hearth was."
Judi Heit

Flu-training Santa stuck in sticky stack. Pedro pulls popular purveyor of presents from perilous Pamlico perch during pre-season practice. Santa: "Perhaps I'm too portly. Ho, ho, ho."
John Hinners

And some imagined a Santa with navigational problems.

I knew I should'a taken a left turn at Albuquerque…
Steve Grogan

Festivus Division:
We have a tie for winner in this division, too....

This old house is just to the west of us
It's not doing as well as the rest of us
It won't be the same
If it gets a new frame
But it still has the spirit of FESTIVUS
Don Southwick, Beach Haven, NJ

In Rome there was an emperor Festivus
Who celebrated the holiday Christivius.
He had not heard of the Santa Clause
And missed his presents because
His palace was roofless ... "que lastimas!"
Mick Roberts

And Run-Run-Reindeer Runners Up are:

'NC archeologists uncovered evidence of early 'Festivus' tribal culture near Oriental, considered to be the basis for the mythologically-based Spirit of Christmas rituals observed there in later eras.'
The Folks at Rambunctious Farm

"Ah Rudolph, you festivus imp!" Tim Rogers

Gene Greathouse (Pamlico Native now in Texas) presented us with "Haiku of the 3-5-3 type preferred for English Haiku"

Santa Claus
By Festivus Time
Did the crime

Finally, our ‘God Bless Us Every One" Special Mention goes to David Grunwald, for helping the East -- of Frank Costanza’s NYC-- meet West…..

"Leave cookies next time, Festus!"
David C Grunwald

Thank you for contributing to Pamlico Captions - we really appreciate how TownDock.net readers create bizarre prose! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Joyful Festivus from the TownDock crew....

Send in your comments, captions, and Pamlico Poetry to captions@towndock.net

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Previous Pamlico Captions
TownDock.net readers have some brilliant creative minds - check out previous Captions winners:

November 2002

October 2002

September 2002