May 2003
results - this past month the TownDock.net creative writing
department asked:
What's your Caption for this Pamlico County picture?

They've been there
for some time, two tubs, back to back on a lot on South Water
Street. And the Pamlico Captions mailbag was spilling over with
entries. We received one-liners, and poems, even advertising
copy. Many of you saw in the scene a real-estate opportunity,
so much so that we came up with a special category, which we'll
start off with here:
Division I - From the Classifieds
The judges were taken by the succinctness of this four word
entry:
FOR SALE - WATERFRONT PROPERTY
-- Barbara Holleman
The first runner up got the judges’ attention for his
attempt at truth-in-advertising.
FOR RENT:
Room with a view - 2 baths
-- John Raxter
S/V Erin Brook
Honorable Mentions:
For Sale. Camper with two baths.
-- John Pilcher, Minnesott Beach
For Sale: Affordable Mobile Home, Living Room, Kitchen
and two Baths. Call (252) 555-1515.
-- Ray Reilly
"For sale: River front air conditioned home with his and
hers baths. Baths are suitable for fish cleaning and dog de-ticking.
Might even work as Jacuzzi with hook up to '40 Ford pickup (no
charge..will throw into home purchase).
---- Adrienne Johnston
"Trailer For Sale, 1 bedroom, TWO baths w/
excellent view"
"Trailer For Sale with separate His and Her baths!!"
-- WSKerner
And an Honorable Mention to Tiffany Caldwell Brown, of area
code 610 on that matter of interpreting the fine print:
"The newlyweds read the brochure again. There
it was, clear as day: Spacious quarters with two-person tub."
Division II -- Non Real Estate
The Judges were taken by the power of positive thinking in this
winning entry:
Are you here for the Jacuzzi auditions?
Anthony E. Davis
First Runner-up honors go to:
Oriental's response to Iraq's Baath Party
-- Don Southwick of Beach Haven, NC and Merritt, NC gets extra
credit for working in current affairs.
Second Runner Up honors go to an entry that may have been inspired
by the photo being taken in the middle of Our Fair Hamlet:
"Two bath or not two bath, that is the question"
-- Mike Foster, New Bern
And our third runner up is
" GOT WATER?"
-- Hilda Brown, Selma ,N.C.
Honorable Mentions:
Somebody threw the tubs out with the bath water.
-- Carolyn Fenton
"Look George, that yacht has two dinghies."
-- Bill Chastang
Four calling birds, three French hens, two grubby
tubs and a trailer beside a pear tree.
-- Jacksie Pitts
(The judges think there might actually be some rings there too.)
Rub-a-dub-dub, two men not in a tub
---- ACSnow
So. Is that tub half empty, or half full???
Rub-a-dub-dub,
two townies in a tub.
-- Leigh Longino
Step right up folks! Two tubs, no waiting
Tim Rogers
"Two tubs, no waiting!"
James Calore, Startechjournal
And to Match Those His and Hers Towels:
Is this what is meant by "His and Hers"
tubs?
- Carol Weis
The new his and hers whirlpool tubs for the Oriental
Motel.
- Jane Hartman, Belews Creek, NC
Welcome to the Duck Pond Marina! His and her bathing
facilities available with slip rentals at no extra charge.
- Susan Conley
HONEY LOOK!! I GOT US HIS & HERS "MOBILE"
HOT TUBS!!
- Ann Smithwick
We done got us a new RV Jacuzzi. Now we got two.
- William Marlowe
You’ve heard of 2 holers, well now, two tubbers.
- Bob and Lorraine Johnson
"Two tubs are better than none!" (less
stinky too)
-WSKerner
Not to throw cold water on the situation, but one of our own
poses a question.. and a lifestyle choice:
Why two tubs? Two people using one tub saves water.
- Ben Casey
Poetry Division:
Now here's a topic for debating
Should one bathe before going out dating
It does take some time
But the results are sublime
So right here there's two tubs, no waiting!
- Don Southwick, Beach Haven, NJ & Merritt
Honorable mention goes to this entrant, for seeing a jewel in
the rough:
Two tired tubbies, toe to toe,
Forsaken, forlorn, forgotten for awhile;
But rescued, repainted, refurbished,
We'd be reborn victorian style.
- Carolyn Fenton who teaches writing in Moberly, Missouri
Bubbas Bathhouse - Two Tubs no waiting
Grab your soap, grab your towel
Please don't fret if the dogs howl
- John L. Baker
Those Aren’t Just Tubs,
Those Are Business Opportunities Division
Tired of having to face your partner in a cramped
RV shower? At Backside Tubs™, we offer the perfect solution,
Back-to-Back tubs in the great out-of-doors. So much open space,
you can forget ever having to ask him/her to step out so you
can pick up the soap again. Energy efficient solar heating eases
the electric bills. Units are available in an easy self-install
package with an optional modesty kit (not shown).
- Charley Bratton, Raleigh
Production facility of a new Pamlico county boatyard
as it prepares to launch it's version of the PWC. For those
who want a more traditional style of craft, it is dubbed the
"Olde Tub".
- Gordon Pickett
Locals seek grant for backyard fish-farming facility
using recycled materials.
- Cheryl Huff
Weekly bathers, you don't have to wait to Saturday
night. Come on downtown and get your weekly bath in "Splish"
or "Splash" whichever tickles your fancy. How often
do you have a chance to bathe in a vintage tub?
- Carolyn
Some may see the feet on these tubs as ornament, but one man
offers a reason for why they evolved that way:
LSDs = Land-Sea-Dinks
Darwinian theory suggests these tubby little dinks have the
ability to dog-paddle over to and up on to shore. Perhaps they
can walk to M&M's, alleviating the need for their skipper
to have to walk or row.
- Steve Drew of Greensboro and "Green Flash"
The Bathtub Brigade Awaits You! Remember To Close
Your Eyes In Ye Olde Town! Welcomes All To Enjoy The Scenery
The Fresh Air And Affords The Best View Around! Never Mind The
Stares! They All Are Just Your Friendly Neighbours Living Here!
Moral : They Are Just Naturally Gawking! MUHAAHAW!
- Jasper Jones
Thanks
kids - you made Pamlico Captions happen again. We will have
another photo that begs for your creativity in June. If you
have a "caption-worthy" photo - send it it to captions@towndock.net
Previous Pamlico Captions
TownDock.net
readers have some brilliant creative minds - check out previous
Captions winners:
February 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002