May 2003 results - this past month the TownDock.net creative writing department asked:
What's your Caption for this Pamlico County picture?

They've been there for some time, two tubs, back to back on a lot on South Water Street. And the Pamlico Captions mailbag was spilling over with entries. We received one-liners, and poems, even advertising copy. Many of you saw in the scene a real-estate opportunity, so much so that we came up with a special category, which we'll start off with here:

Division I - From the Classifieds

The judges were taken by the succinctness of this four word entry:

FOR SALE - WATERFRONT PROPERTY
-- Barbara Holleman

The first runner up got the judges’ attention for his attempt at truth-in-advertising.

FOR RENT:
Room with a view - 2 baths
-- John Raxter
S/V Erin Brook

Honorable Mentions:

For Sale. Camper with two baths.
-- John Pilcher, Minnesott Beach

For Sale: Affordable Mobile Home, Living Room, Kitchen and two Baths. Call (252) 555-1515.
-- Ray Reilly

"For sale: River front air conditioned home with his and hers baths. Baths are suitable for fish cleaning and dog de-ticking. Might even work as Jacuzzi with hook up to '40 Ford pickup (no charge..will throw into home purchase).
---- Adrienne Johnston

"Trailer For Sale, 1 bedroom, TWO baths w/ excellent view"
"Trailer For Sale with separate His and Her baths!!"
-- WSKerner

And an Honorable Mention to Tiffany Caldwell Brown, of area code 610 on that matter of interpreting the fine print:
"The newlyweds read the brochure again. There it was, clear as day: Spacious quarters with two-person tub."

Division II -- Non Real Estate

The Judges were taken by the power of positive thinking in this winning entry:

Are you here for the Jacuzzi auditions?
Anthony E. Davis

First Runner-up honors go to:

Oriental's response to Iraq's Baath Party
-- Don Southwick of Beach Haven, NC and Merritt, NC gets extra credit for working in current affairs.

Second Runner Up honors go to an entry that may have been inspired by the photo being taken in the middle of Our Fair Hamlet:

"Two bath or not two bath, that is the question"
-- Mike Foster, New Bern

And our third runner up is
" GOT WATER?"
-- Hilda Brown, Selma ,N.C.

Honorable Mentions:

Somebody threw the tubs out with the bath water.
-- Carolyn Fenton

"Look George, that yacht has two dinghies."
-- Bill Chastang

Four calling birds, three French hens, two grubby tubs and a trailer beside a pear tree.
-- Jacksie Pitts
(The judges think there might actually be some rings there too.)

Rub-a-dub-dub, two men not in a tub
---- ACSnow
So. Is that tub half empty, or half full???

Rub-a-dub-dub, two townies in a tub.
-- Leigh Longino

Step right up folks! Two tubs, no waiting
Tim Rogers

"Two tubs, no waiting!"
James Calore, Startechjournal

And to Match Those His and Hers Towels:
Is this what is meant by "His and Hers" tubs?
- Carol Weis

The new his and hers whirlpool tubs for the Oriental Motel.
- Jane Hartman, Belews Creek, NC

Welcome to the Duck Pond Marina! His and her bathing facilities available with slip rentals at no extra charge.
- Susan Conley

HONEY LOOK!! I GOT US HIS & HERS "MOBILE" HOT TUBS!!
- Ann Smithwick

We done got us a new RV Jacuzzi. Now we got two.
- William Marlowe

You’ve heard of 2 holers, well now, two tubbers.
- Bob and Lorraine Johnson

"Two tubs are better than none!" (less stinky too)
-WSKerner

Not to throw cold water on the situation, but one of our own poses a question.. and a lifestyle choice:
Why two tubs? Two people using one tub saves water.
- Ben Casey

Poetry Division:

Now here's a topic for debating
Should one bathe before going out dating
It does take some time
But the results are sublime
So right here there's two tubs, no waiting!
- Don Southwick, Beach Haven, NJ & Merritt

Honorable mention goes to this entrant, for seeing a jewel in the rough:
Two tired tubbies, toe to toe,
Forsaken, forlorn, forgotten for awhile;
But rescued, repainted, refurbished,
We'd be reborn victorian style.
- Carolyn Fenton who teaches writing in Moberly, Missouri

Bubbas Bathhouse - Two Tubs no waiting
Grab your soap, grab your towel
Please don't fret if the dogs howl
- John L. Baker

Those Aren’t Just Tubs, Those Are Business Opportunities Division

Tired of having to face your partner in a cramped RV shower? At Backside Tubs™, we offer the perfect solution, Back-to-Back tubs in the great out-of-doors. So much open space, you can forget ever having to ask him/her to step out so you can pick up the soap again. Energy efficient solar heating eases the electric bills. Units are available in an easy self-install package with an optional modesty kit (not shown).
- Charley Bratton, Raleigh

Production facility of a new Pamlico county boatyard as it prepares to launch it's version of the PWC. For those who want a more traditional style of craft, it is dubbed the "Olde Tub".
- Gordon Pickett

Locals seek grant for backyard fish-farming facility using recycled materials.
- Cheryl Huff

Weekly bathers, you don't have to wait to Saturday night. Come on downtown and get your weekly bath in "Splish" or "Splash" whichever tickles your fancy. How often do you have a chance to bathe in a vintage tub?
- Carolyn

Some may see the feet on these tubs as ornament, but one man offers a reason for why they evolved that way:
LSDs = Land-Sea-Dinks
Darwinian theory suggests these tubby little dinks have the ability to dog-paddle over to and up on to shore. Perhaps they can walk to M&M's, alleviating the need for their skipper to have to walk or row.
- Steve Drew of Greensboro and "Green Flash"

The Bathtub Brigade Awaits You! Remember To Close Your Eyes In Ye Olde Town! Welcomes All To Enjoy The Scenery The Fresh Air And Affords The Best View Around! Never Mind The Stares! They All Are Just Your Friendly Neighbours Living Here! Moral : They Are Just Naturally Gawking! MUHAAHAW!
- Jasper Jones

Thanks kids - you made Pamlico Captions happen again. We will have another photo that begs for your creativity in June. If you have a "caption-worthy" photo - send it it to captions@towndock.net

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Previous Pamlico Captions
TownDock.net readers have some brilliant creative minds - check out previous Captions winners:

February 2003

December 2002

November 2002

October 2002

September 2002