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Dock Quote: “In the dead...
Weekly Horoscopes
Week of Monday, January 26, 2026
Where the stars and paws converge
Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Your competitive spirit emerges this week when you challenge the neighborhood squirrels to an epic staring contest. That expensive toy your human bought will remain ignored while you become obsessed with a cardboard box. Tuesday brings an opportunity to dramatically flop over and play dead when asked to come inside. Your charm offensive will result in extra treats by Wednesday.
Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Comfort is your kingdom this week, and you'll find three new napping spots that your human didn't know existed. The fancy food bowl gets replaced with something more practical after you accidentally knock it over during an enthusiastic meal. Your stubborn streak shows when you refuse to move from that perfect sunny patch on the carpet. Weekend visitors will fall under your spell.
Gemini
May 21 - Jun 20
Your curious nature leads to investigating every corner of the house, possibly discovering that missing sock from last month. Communication is key this week - your humans will finally understand your specific 'I want the good treats' vocalization. Wednesday brings a minor misunderstanding involving a houseplant that definitely moved first. Your social butterfly tendencies attract new admirers at the park.
Cancer
Jun 21 - Jul 22
Home is where your heart is, and you'll spend extra time guarding your favorite humans from the mailman's daily invasion. Your nurturing side emerges when you bring your humans a special 'gift' from the yard. Emotional eating may occur if your dinner is five minutes late. The weekend promises cozy cuddle sessions and possibly commandeering the entire couch.
Leo
Jul 23 - Aug 22
Your natural magnetism draws attention everywhere you go this week, particularly when you demonstrate your impressive door-opening skills. A dramatic performance involving the treat jar will earn you an audience and possibly snacks. Your regal bearing falters slightly when you misjudge the distance to your favorite sleeping spot. Thursday brings an opportunity to show off your best tricks to impressed guests.
Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Your attention to detail helps you notice that your human moved your food bowl exactly three inches to the left. Organization is important, so you'll spend time rearranging your toy collection according to your own mysterious system. A small mishap involving muddy paws teaches everyone about the importance of towel placement. Your helpful nature shines when you assist with 'quality control' of dropped food.
Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 22
Harmony in the household is your mission this week, though your peace-keeping efforts might involve sitting directly between arguing humans. Your aesthetic sense demands the fluffiest blanket for afternoon naps. Social situations bring out your diplomatic side when mediating disputes over the best sunny spot. Weekend activities include perfecting your most photogenic poses for adoring admirers.
Scorpio
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Your investigative powers uncover the secret location where your human hides the really good treats. Intensity marks your week as you develop a mysterious fixation on that corner behind the refrigerator. Trust issues arise when your food bowl appears emptier than expected. Your penetrating stare will convince at least one human to share their sandwich by Friday.
Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Adventure calls from beyond the backyard fence, leading to creative escape attempts that would impress Houdini. Your optimistic outlook helps you bounce back quickly after that unfortunate encounter with the automatic vacuum. New territories in the house become available for exploration when humans forget to close doors. Thursday's walk reveals fascinating new smells that require extensive investigation.
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Your methodical approach to treat acquisition pays off when you successfully train your human to respond to your subtle dinner-time cues. Ambitious climbing projects this week may result in you discovering new high places to supervise from. A minor setback occurs when your carefully planned nap schedule conflicts with household activities. Your persistent efforts finally wear down resistance to belly rubs.
Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Unconventional thinking leads you to discover that toilet paper rolls make excellent toys, much to your human's surprise. Your independent streak manifests when you choose the bathroom floor over your expensive bed for today's nap. Social experiments involve testing how many different humans you can convince to give you treats. Innovation strikes when you invent a new way to open the treat cabinet.
Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Your intuitive nature helps you sense exactly when your human needs comfort, leading to perfectly timed cuddle sessions. Dreams and reality blur during your extensive afternoon naps, possibly involving chase sequences with invisible prey. Your compassionate heart extends to sharing your favorite toy with a visiting pet. Water holds special fascination this week, whether in your bowl or that forbidden bathroom variety.
Incognita
birthday unknown
Mystery surrounds your week as you develop an inexplicable fascination with shadows moving across the living room wall. Your adaptable nature helps you adjust to the humans' new schedule while maintaining your essential nap requirements. A fortuitous accident involving a dropped treat leads to discovering your new favorite hiding spot under the kitchen table. Your versatile personality charms everyone from the grumpy neighbor cat to the enthusiastic delivery person.
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 Salty Celeste is TownDock's staff astrologer. When Salty is not divining the stars, she enjoys reading history, long walks on the beach, squirrel taxidermy, and sailing her Tartan 27 "Pop Tart." |