It's Monday December 22, 2025
Dock Quote: “A grouch escapes...
Weekly Horoscopes
Week of Monday, December 22, 2025
Where the stars and paws converge
Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
This week you'll discover that the couch cushions make excellent launching pads for surprise attacks on unsuspecting ankles. Your human thinks they've hidden the good treats on the top shelf, but your determined climbing skills will prove them wrong. Tuesday brings an opportunity to reorganize the entire contents of the trash can across the kitchen floor.
Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
The sunny spot by the window calls your name for extended meditation sessions this week. Your human's attempt to move your food bowl to a new location will be met with stubborn resistance and meaningful stares. A new blanket arrives mid-week, and after thorough quality testing through kneading and circling, you'll deem it acceptable for your royal comfort.
Gemini
May 21 - Jun 20
Your mood swings between wanting belly rubs and plotting mischief will keep everyone guessing this week. The red ball loses its appeal entirely, but that crinkly thing under the couch suddenly becomes the most fascinating object in existence. Wednesday brings a visitor who doesn't understand your complex personality, leading to some strategic hiding.
Cancer
Jun 21 - Jul 22
Emotional eating reaches new heights as you perfect your pitiful hungry face to score extra dinner portions. Your favorite napping spot gets invaded by laundry, causing mild trauma that only excessive cuddling can heal. The mailman's daily arrival continues to threaten your home's security, requiring your loudest protective vocals.
Leo
Jul 23 - Aug 22
Center stage is where you belong this week, whether your audience appreciates your dramatic performances or not. Your humans will witness your most impressive tricks, though they foolishly expect you to repeat them on command. A grooming session transforms you into the magnificent creature you've always known yourself to be.
Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
Your human's housekeeping standards fall far below your expectations, prompting you to helpfully redistribute items throughout the home. The food bowl situation requires immediate attention as it's nearly half empty, which is basically starvation. Your grooming routine becomes more elaborate this week, with particular attention to that one persistent spot.
Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 22
Diplomatic relations with the household's other four-legged residents improve through strategic treat sharing and synchronized napping. Your human faces a difficult choice between two equally appealing toys you've presented, testing their decision-making abilities. Balance becomes important as you master the art of sleeping across multiple furniture pieces simultaneously.
Scorpio
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Your mysterious disappearances into forbidden spaces will leave your humans questioning their home security. The intensity of your stare while watching them eat finally pays off with an accidental dropped morsel. A secret cache of toys under the bed grows larger as you plot your next acquisition from the toy box.
Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Adventure calls from beyond the backyard fence, though your exploration may be limited to thoroughly investigating that interesting smell near the garbage bins. Your enthusiasm for walks increases dramatically, especially when your humans seem least prepared for outdoor excursions. New routes through the house reveal previously undiscovered dust bunnies worthy of pursuit.
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Your methodical approach to treat consumption involves precise chewing techniques that your humans don't fully appreciate. The establishment of a new daily routine requires everyone else to adjust their schedules accordingly. Your patient stalking of that one squeaky toy finally results in complete victory and total destruction.
Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Conventional sleeping positions bore you this week as you experiment with gravity-defying poses across furniture. Your human's attempts at training sessions become opportunities to teach them about creative interpretation of commands. The water bowl transforms into a fascinating physics experiment involving splashing and mysterious paw movements.
Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Dreams of endless treats and perfect napping weather inspire longer than usual sleeping sessions throughout the week. Your intuitive connection with your human's emotions leads to perfectly timed comfort snuggles and attention-seeking behaviors. The fish tank or bird feeder outside provides hours of meditative entertainment and wishful thinking.
Incognita
birthday unknown
Your sophisticated palate rejects the regular kibble in favor of whatever your humans are attempting to eat in peace. Morning routines require your direct supervision, particularly the complex ritual of coffee preparation that somehow never involves your participation. Thursday's thunderstorm provides an excellent excuse for claiming the entire bed as your personal fortress.
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 Salty Celeste is TownDock's staff astrologer. When Salty is not divining the stars, she enjoys reading history, long walks on the beach, squirrel taxidermy, and sailing her Tartan 27 "Pop Tart." |